Question by Anonymous Joe: Disturbed by my lovers past?
Last week my buddy met my girlfriend for the first time. We’ve been dating for a year and a half. When she introduces herself, based on her name and the sound of her voice, he openly accuses her of deceiving him into a 5 month relationship that went on to develop off the internet, with nightly marathon phone chats and phone sex. They got very close, talked of a loving future together and she wanted to have his kids. He said they met through an online Usenet chat group a few years ago when this occurred, where she posted photos of a beautiful girl passing them off as her own. He busted her when he found the photos somewhere else on the web. She then confessed, said it started off as a joke that went too far, supposedly told him her name, where she really lived and all that. Never did send him a real photo of herself. He later found out she created several additional fake profiles using photos of very beautiful women and lying about every other detail she posted about in that online group. To stir up the level of drama he said she would create arguments between these profiles by posting mean and nasty messages on the forums and chat boards to get attention from everyone. In the end, he said she made a public apology and promised to leave the online group and not post there anymore. He ignored all her emails and hasn’t spoken to her since.
At first I laughed it off. I mean this whole thing sounds ridiculous. My girlfriend said it never happened and that she never met the man before in her life. I have been burned by a couple of deceitful girls in the past so I am a little less trusting of people at times. She is a very beautiful woman with a great sense of humor, intelligence and people genuinely like to be around her. I can’t for the life of me picture her doing something like this. We are adults for crying out loud. While trying to make sense of all this, my girl told me that she thinks someone discovered her Myspace profile and decided to use her identity and photos to spawn a new fake profile to replace the old one.
I respect and believe both of these people. Neither one has lied to me and I trust both of them and that is what makes this so hard for me. I was planning to ask this girl to marry me in a couple of months. How would you deal with this situation? Leave her and move on? Proceed slowly and postpone the marriage proposal?
Thanks for all of the responses. It was fishy of her to suggest someone stole her photos off Myspace. Up until that point I thought the whole thing was unreal. Bottom-line, I just want her to be honest with me about it. I can leave her past where it belongs but I can’t tolerate her lying about it now. If that makes sense. I’ll move forward with this slowly.
AsiaBSDCon 2009 Keynote Speech. Speaker: Eric Allman is the original author of sendmail, and a long time contributor to Berkeley UNIX. He also wrote the -me macros, tset, trek, syslog, and vacation. Besides UNIX and sendmail, Eric has worked on database management, window systems, neural-net-based speech recognition, system administration, and networking. Allman is Chief Science Officer and co-founder of Sendmail, Inc. Before joining Sendmail, Allman served as CTO for Sift, Inc., which is now part of 24/7 Media, Inc. He was lead developer and provided a large-scale research software infrastructure on the Mammoth project at UC Berkeley. Allman has contributed as a senior developer at the International Computer Science Institute to neural network systems design. Allman was also Chief Programmer on the INGRES Relational Database Management System. Formerly, Allman co-authored the “C Advisor” column for UNIX Review magazine and was a member of the Board of Directors of USENIX Association. He is currently a Program Chair for the Conference on Email and Anti-Spam and a member of the ACM Queue Editorial Review Board and the Board of Trustees of Cal Performances. Allman holds an Masters of Science degree in Computer Science from the University of California at Berkeley. Abstract: Email existed before the Internet was invented, and grew with the Internet over six orders of magnitude. Email has gone from serving a small community of highly technical colleagues to being ubiquitous … Video Rating: 3 / 5